How to Make Spam Oven Roasted Turkey Just Like Mom's Traditional Thanksgiving Dinner!

6 days ago

2 min read

The number one top searched recipe for Thanksgiving is turkey, which remains the centerpiece of the holiday meal for millions of Americans. Bullshit. Nobody can afford a goddamn motherfucking turkey since we couldn't be bothered to keep Hitler 2.0 from rising to eternal power. So, here's how to prepare your goddamn Spam, you worthless peasant pukes.

Make sure you run out to The Walmart so you can make the motherfucking goddamn evil ass billionaire Walton's richer while you have fucking starve because you're idiots who obviously enjoy poverty and suffering or you wouldn't keep voting for it. If you're lucky enough to have a single penny left after medical bills, rent, utilities and your monthly tithe to your Lord and Saviour Jeff Bezos, you can even get... Turkey Spam! Oh my fucking God, Becky! YUM!

From the Official Spam website... Yes... That's where we are, America. So proud. Spam has a whole ass website devoted to... Spam. Spam. We love Spam. Can't get enough goddamn sodium. I mean... Spam. Anyhoo, this is how they're selling it to your zombie asses:

SPAM® Oven Roasted Turkey

This SPAM® variety is made from 100% white, lean turkey. Some folks wonder why we didn’t call it SPURKEY. But if we had, it wouldn’t be a proper member of the SPAM® family of products. And like all SPAM® varieties, this one’s full of yumminess. Swap it into your same old sandwich. Break The Monotony™.

Limited availability in stores. Prices may vary. Promotions, product information, and packaging are subject to change. Please refer to the packaging on store shelves for the most up-to-date information.

And it's SO HEALTHY! Look at all that sodium! Hell, a whole can is only 132% of your recommended daily sodium limit, so eat up, health nuts!